The struggle to find some meaning to life after the death of my only child, my 7 year old son Little D, who died in September 2009. Also this is about trying to conceive in my 40s with IUI and IVF.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Missing you.
I miss you so much Dominic. It's been just over 6 months or 27 weeks since the horrific morning that you died. I would do anything to see you one more time. To hear your laughter in the house. To kiss your smooth soft skin. To cuddle your wiggly body. You remain everything to me. I love you Dominic. You were the best boy we ever could have wished for.
I am a SAHM/WAHM, who has been raising two boys; my stepson Big D and my son Little D. My son Little D was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease Takayasu's Arteritis. This condition caused him to have a severe heart condition, Mitral Regurgitation, as well as a couple of minor heart conditions. Little D died on September 19 2009, aged 7 of heart failure, from a flare up of inflammation, probably Takayasu related.
Big Magic
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Sorrow is beautiful. I never realized it until the Great Loss hit me, full
blunt force in the face, in the heart. It struck down the very core of me
until ...
Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
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One of my favorite poems now. I believe that last line so fervently. It
brings me great comfort. When Joey first died I could not hear him compared
to t...
Miracles
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I want to talk about miracles, especially today.
"Miracle" is not a word I use lightly. Here are some definitions from a
Google search:
"a surprising and ...
I want to tell them
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This piece is about my current pregnancy. If you're feeling sensitive to
others' pregnancies, you might want to skip this one.
photo by a.m.b.
My pre-na...
Maggie's Story
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Maggie "Mags" came to me on a crisp but sunny Fall day, her frail frame
tenuously held together by her slight brindle skin. She walked with her
back end c...
Six, on a Tuesday
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If there is one game I love to hate to play at this time of year, it's the
"what was I doing on this day" game. Friday August 15, 2008. The day I was
sent ...
Birth Day, VII
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Seven years ago today, I gave birth to a baby girl.
That sentence alone is the most surreal thing to write and read.
I am smack-dab in the middle of
trav...
A Final Goodbye
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there is no new ground to till,
there are no new seeds to plant,
there will be no sweet harvest,
it's all been said and felt before,
I will ache until ...
LFCA
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I just wanted to make sure everyone knows about/remember the LFCA (Lost and
Found and Connections Abound).
It is a hub for the infertility/loss community a...
Again...Happy Would be Birthday.
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Another year gone by. Another year left wondering. I want a daughter to
play dress up with, watch princess movies, put hair in braids for school,
buy her f...
Going home!
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We just heard that we now have a UK passport for Hope - and so we can go
home. That is such good news. We've been here four weeks and we always knew
that t...
And They Lived Happily Ever After
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I may post again in this space, I may not, but I thought there should be at
least some kind of update. Especially for those who might be considering
egg d...
A Poem In Memory.....
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A View From Heaven The day I went to heaven I knew that you would cry But
families are forever and our love will never die. Just know my love
surrounds you...
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